Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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