Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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