i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
