Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
