it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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