worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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