Whod you bang
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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