Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
