sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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