You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
