I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
