For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
