Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
