you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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