So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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