sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You made out with two different species that night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
