thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
