I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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