You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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