nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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