if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
