It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
