oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
