i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize