My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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