Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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