I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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