I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
