Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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