This girl is more easily done than said...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
