the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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