In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Can Purell be used as lube?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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