I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
