respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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