just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
