In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
