do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
