Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
