He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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