About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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