I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The uberlube is also flammable
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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