i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
