it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We are two peas in an std pod
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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