You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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