I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
