Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
