watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I love you. Go after that dick
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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