i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
