I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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