I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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