Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
