He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
