I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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