I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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