sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
