Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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