planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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