we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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