its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
