Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I love you. Go after that dick
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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