i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize