Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
