Yo dont text me then not text me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
