Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
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Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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