Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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